| Difficulty: | Easy |
| Frequency: | as needed |
| Duration: | 15–30 mins |
Negative self-beliefs are negative thoughts we have about ourselves, which may or may not reflect your current reality.
We can usually identify negative self-beliefs by their pattern. We might:
- Think them easily (automatic thinking)
- Think them often (default explanation)
- Notice emotions shift (negative charge)
- Notice others disagree or dispute them (judgement)
While thoughts shouldn’t be overly critical or pessimistic, a negative thinking style can serve a positive purpose in your life. Maybe negative thinking protected you from something (or someone) in the past? Maybe you traversed a new or challenging situation and these self-critical thoughts helped you succeed?
No matter what happened or what thoughts transpired from those past events, these hidden scripts continue to shape your emotions and behaviours today.
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
Mark Twain, author
While completing this worksheet, remember some key pieces of advice:
Try not to judge the thought.
Sometimes people go to battle with negative thoughts, believing they are a threatening force to be controlled. Rarely is this the case. In fact, the more we judge a thought, the more we tend to dwell on them. Negative thoughts are not some mystical force. They simply exist because prevailing conditions allow them to exist.
If these past experiences feel overwhelming, consider the value of self-referring to our Online Therapy program for help completing this activity.
Start with a single thought.
A single thought rarely exists in isolation. They are like one of many tentacles on a large sea monster. As you conquer one thought, other thoughts join the battle. This is usually a sign that you are challenging a deep-seated belief. If your thought feels overwhelming, try putting it aside and starting with a less emotionally charged thought until you regain a sense of mastery. (Remember, this is not about dramatic changes but about a gradual, consistent shift in thinking about yourself.)
If your thoughts feel threatening or overwhelming in some way, consider booking a visit with our Online Therapist for some quick advice and strategies.
Be kind to yourself.
Everyone holds self-critical beliefs, which can be feel painful to explore. Be kind to yourself when you complete this activity, and find a quiet place or a comfortable spot where you can relax and reflect. Self-compassion is the ultimate goal of this activity: to accept ourselves wholeheartedly, and perhaps not take ourselves so seriously. If a specific thought seems to provoke judgement or shame, offer yourself extra compassion and kindness in return. You are doing your best. You are doing the work.
If you tend to be quite hard on yourself, consider exploring more complex self-schemas with the support of our Online Therapist.
When stuck in a spiral of self-blame or shame, remember… you are not your thoughts! You are so much more than a single thought. Thoughts come and go, and many change in response to experiences in our life. Being kind to yourself means also accepting that we are allowed to have negative thoughts, and sometimes these thoughts say incredibly positive things about us as a person just trying our best.
Need to talk about your inner storm?
Check out our Online Therapy program, open to Alberta residents.