| Difficulty: | Intermediate |
| Frequency: | monthly |
| Duration: | 30–40 mins |
If you want to make someone emotional, all you have to do is imply that you don’t trust them. Trust suggests we have faith in other people, and we feel safe around them. And, although the vast majority of people are trustworthy, trust is constantly tested by human flaws and imperfections. Moments where trust is compromised feel threatening.
At the same time, it’s easy to mistrust others. Mistrust helps us feel guarded and safe. It motivates us to ask “why” people acted in a way that felt inconsistent, or out-of-step with, your values. Mistrust also helps us to categorize, rank and label people, to see otherness and their “status” within the social hierarchy more clearly. Are they a friend or foe? Ally or adversary?
A lack of trust underpins every “red flag” about someone, pointing to who will most likely protect us as we traverse hostile environments.
“Trust is earned in the smallest of moments. It is earned not through heroic deeds, or even highly visible actions, but through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection.”
– Dr. Brené Brown, author of “Dare to Lead”
While completing this worksheet, remember some key pieces of advice:
Trust is a two-way street.
When someone doesn’t trust you, it’s easy to internalize their distrust. You might feel like you did something wrong, or are flawed in some way. Consider taking a second to ask yourself what past experiences this person might have that shapes their perspective. Putting yourself in their shoes can help you understand why this person lacks trust, and will likely prevent you from taking their lack of trust personally.
If you feel untrusted or have difficulty trusting others, exploring the concept of ‘trust’ with our Online Therapist might be beneficial.
Challenge your assumptions.
In relationships, our perception of others’ thoughts or actions are often inaccurate. This is because we can only guess what other people are thinking. Therefore, your thoughts about others are not likely to be very accurate. Ask yourself: “What evidence supports my beliefs?” and “Could there be another explanation for their behaviour?” This kind of reflection can lead to more accurate opinions about other people.
If you have trouble challenging your opinions, booking a session with our Online Therapist could help you understand why these assumptions are so fixed.
Be open to feedback.
Dismissing negative feedback is very common; however, wise individuals are extremely open to contrasting perspectives and advice. When others correct or challenge your views, it might feel uncomfortable, but this feedback is valuable for your own development. In fact, this feedback signals areas where your thinking might benefit from re-evaluation or reconsideration.
If you feel resistant to feedback, our Online Therapist can offer personalized guidance on how to become more receptive to constructive criticism.
Keep in mind that most people struggle to trust others. Trust is hard because it requires us to be vulnerable, which can feel overwhelming when we think of past betrayals and disappointments. We can never predict with 100% certainty what other people are thinking or doing… so we must trust.
Need to unpack this worksheet?
Check out our Online Therapy program, open to residents of Alberta.